A reversed star system

Before going to Looland, it is necessary to know something about restaurants ang hotels :

One of Looland particularities concernig hotels and restaurants is its system of quality evaluation by stars.

Indeed, while in almost all countries, the more stars there are, the better the quality of its service is. In Looland it is the contrary. That's right, in Looland, the fewer stars a hotel or a restaurant has, the better its services are

On the other hand, in our countries, all the hotels and restaurants don't have stars all the tme, in Looland it is mandatory. We deliver a star quota to a hosterly at its opening and this allocation can evolve (positively or negatively).

                                         Captain Octopus.

The Daily Jakob : Sports

 

 

 

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The Daily Jakob

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Sausage ball

 

Boshville Hamsters vs Hellin Robins

127 - 93

 

Crisis in Hellin ! Last night, the hamsters imposed their sausage style, in the full JSB Stadium (98 spectators!).

 

The crowd turned mad when the Hamster's player Japoto Van Grikziev ate the whole sausage in the money time in plain view of the King Jakob Strauss-Barbosh 56^th ,his 49 sons and his 17 spouses.

This game showed the season' s level of the Robins, that is to say pathetic with 36 defeats and only 2 victories (with the King's money help).

 

“The team sank against a high-level group”

Hellin's coach, Hadjud Antchev

 

 

Indeed, the five players of Hellin's team bought 3000 dollaz (a quarter of Looland GDP) played one of their worst games. A rumor would say that they drank too much at the barbecue of honor just before the beginning of the match. Douglas O'Shokola, the striker of the team fell down completely drunk at the fifth minute of the match when the hamsters already led by 36,5 to nil. It immediately made the fans scream and applause. At the half time, the king made a propaganda speech to convince his fellows not to rise up against the new tax which forbid the pronunciation of vowels

the victory's sausage ate and rejected by Orshab (indeed, one can see all the technic of this wonderful player)

 

 

                                                                                The Daily Jakob sport department

Looland's Climate

 

 

 

Looland's climate is typical of northern countries. There's a lot of rain, snow and fog. It's a perfect climate for winter lovers. In Looland winter lasts six months and during that time people like to party as it's dark almost all day long. If you like winter sports you'll be able to ski on our famous Weird Hill, but don't forget to bring your skis with you as you won't be able to rent any. Don't worry about sunburns, in Looland summers are short and the temperature will not exceed 17°C. (Although it is said that king Jakob XII once was sunburned while walking in Roughkov streets.) If you choose to come during the summer you will enjoy the midnight sun.

 

 

 

Weird Hill.

 

 

 Captain Octopus.

The dress code in Looland, a long story !

 

In Looland we love scratches and that is the dress code ! If you don't dress like that you could be outcast for the rest of you life, or you must do community service for 2 years. Scratches appeared centuries early when one of the King's maids make a mistake concerning the laundry. There were a mix of colors and all his clothes had scratches. At the beginning, the maid was frightenned to show her mistake but when the King discovered this, he immediatly fall in love.

Consequently everybody have to wear something with SCRATCHES !

History, Part One

Chronology:

- In 1666 lazy people have been rejected to Looland. They decided to create a participative democracy. However they were too lazy to vote, therefore an intelligent man established a monarchy. Of course, there was no opposition.  His name Jacob the first. He loved "ringsdices.

- From 1668 to 1674, the capital city, Hellin, was built under the direction of the famous architect : Bill Ding. The construction was very hard because of many issues. First of all, money was embezzled by those in charge of the construction, then, workers were demonstrating against the 14 hours of work a week, finally, because of the quite bad weather, foundations were flooded by the heavy rain.

 

KantBiaskTeam

 

 

 

Looland's typical recipes

Oysters rockefeller

Ingredients (for 6 persons)

• 2 slices bacon
• 24 unopened, fresh, live medium oysters
• 1 1/2 cups cooked spinach
• 1/3 cup bread crumbs
• 1/4 cup chopped green onions
• 1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 dash hot pepper sauce
• 3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
• 1 teaspoon anise flavored liqueur
• 4 cups kosher salt

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees F (220 degrees C). Place bacon in a large, deep skillet. Cook over medium high heat until evenly brown. Drain, crumble and set aside.
2. Clean oysters and place in a large stockpot. Pour in enough water to cover oysters; bring the water and oysters to a boil. Remove from heat and drain and cool oysters. When cooled break the top shell off of each oyster.
3. Using a food processor, chop the bacon, spinach, bread crumbs, green onions, and parsley. Add the salt, hot sauce, olive oil and anise-flavored liqueur and process until finely chopped but not pureed, about 10 seconds.
4. Arrange the oysters in their half shells on a pan with kosher salt. Spoon some of the spinach mixture on each oyster. Bake 10 minutes until cooked through, then change the oven's setting to broil and broil until browned on top. Serve hot. 

                                                           Poor man's shrimp

Ingredients (for 12 persons)

• 1 (8 ounce) package small seashell pasta
• 2 (6 ounce) cans tuna, drained and flaked
• 1 stalk celery, diced
• 2 tablespoons diced green bell pepper
• 1 tablespoon diced onion
• 2/3 cup creamy salad dressing, e.g. Miracle Whip ™

Directions

1. Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Add shell macaroni and cook for 8 to 10 minutes or until al dente; drain and rinse with cool water.
2. In a medium bowl, mix together the tuna, celery, green bell pepper, onion and creamy salad dressing.
3. Stuff the shell macaroni with the tuna mixture.

This recipe is a religious one
  
Lemon Octopus

Ingredients (for 6 persons)

• 2 kg baby octopus
• 1 tablespoon fresh lemon rind , grated
• 3/4 cup lemon juice
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 2 tablespoons hot chili sauce
• 4 cloves garlic , crushed

Directions:

1. Remove and discard heads and beaks from octopus, cut octopus in half.
2. Combine octopus, rind, juice, oil, sauce and garlic in large bowl, cover, refrigerate 3 hours or overnight.
3. Drain octopus from marinade and discard marinade.
4. Add octopus to heated skillet or barbecue, cook over high heat until just tender.

The Daily Jakob

What makes our newspaper special, may you ask ?

        The daily Jakob gives you a daily account of our royal highness's life in Looland : his meal, his activities, his quotations... You name it, we've got it !

        Our unique newspaper gives you all the sports results and events to come, so you know exactly what's going on in our wonderful and exiting country !

        We also have articles dedicated to our country's cultural events : we keep you keyed up with the latest concerts, radio programs, night life activities, art exhibitions... Because we know just how much culture means to Loolanders. 

       Kepping in mind how much our readers care about the art of photography, we've decided to provide you with the "pic of the day", were a jury of professional photographers choose our reader's best capture of Looland's daily life !                        

      Get involved ! By it now and become a true Looland citizen !